“They have the energy and we need it” stated Rooney Quinnt, the current Minister for Educatio, who has asked that his name be changed to protect his identity, at a meeting for energy and child labour. RQ went on to say that these children are climbing the walls of our classrooms in desperate need of an outlet all-the-while the shrinking of our country’s resources and that of the global community’s resources is growing”
While many ministers mused over the meaning of the confusing presence of the antonyms -shrinking and growing- being used in the same sentence, the minister went on to quote The Law of Conservation of Energy:
“Energy can neither be created or destroyed,” he quoted from Wikipedia , “Only changed from one state to another”.
But as he failed to reference the origins of the quote the opposing parties, believing the quote to be that of the ministers, immediately set about trying to disprove it.
“I exclaim,” exclaimed Quinnt with enthusiasm, “That ADHD Children are squandering the energy of the world and that something drastic must be done before the schools are overrun with these children holding the education of the other, “normal” children to ransom by forcing them to work in the dark!”
He went on to say that ADHD children should be made to run on giant treadmills or push turbines housed in buildings located on or near wind farms while research be carried out on how ADHD children are acquiring this energy in the first place.
This statement was met with a lot of angry comments from backbenchers insisting that the minister was being derogatory when speaking of “ADHD children” but should instead call them “Children with ADHD” as the child should always come first. Many agreed with this but others went further to claim that the use of the term ADHD at all was inappropriate as it is written in capital letters thus drawing focus to and highlighting the disability rather than the child itself. The meeting was adjourned until an inoffensive word for these children could be found and agreed upon.
After hours of deliberation and wine-tasting seminars they returned with the term “Children Who Are Adversely Affected by Over Enthusiasm”. A motion was quickly written up to have this term added to the constitution via referendum and all the politicians were driven home in their saloon cars, safe in the knowledge that nothing important had been done today. Proving once and for all the Law of Conservation of Politics:
Useless politicians can neither be created or destroyed, only changed from one state to another.