Alright so Day 16 of zero to hero tells me to take the daily prompt and run with it. Daily Prompt today is about…reputation. O.k.
Do i have a reputation? Isnt that reserved for people who…i dont know…are known by people other than their mothers? Not people who blog. Anyway lets see…
Well apart from my word is my bond shite I guess I have a reputation for messing around, lying and using bromdignagian words that I don’t know the meaning of. I know, what a catch, right?
I also have a reputation of being late. I blame this on news reports who usually describe people who are at the top of their game as ‘the late, great so and so’ creating a link between late and great. You never hear of the “punctual great actor”.
Of course as you may imagine, if you’re late all the time it’s very difficult to keep friends. I have had to devise plans to counteract this. One of the ways I have done this is inventing outrageous, yet entertaining excuses for my tardiness. Now people hope I’m late just to see what excuse I’ll come up with. So much so that they are now disappointed when I turn up on time. Or at least that’s my explanation for their sullen faces when i show up anyway.
Now we’re all late from time to time so allow me to impart with you some of my excuse gems in a section I like to call “MY EXCUSE GEMS”.
Sorry I’m late…
….but I was posing for an action figure of myself and the designer just couldn’t get the moobs right.
…I was practicing my impression of an unambiguous Koala and I lost track of time.
…but I was giving a family of hedgehogs a lift home and they lived way out of town. It was Gerald’s birthday bless him and he wanted to see the city lights.
…but I ran away to a flea circus. In the end their safety policies werent up to ‘scratch’ so I decided to…flee!
…but I was taken hostage by a smack of Jellyfish. (Then I’ll wow them with the fact that that is the actual name for a group of jellyfish).
…but I was on my way here when suddenly I was bundled into a mini van. It happens everyday you know.
When in doubt, if you can’t think of an excuse just tell the story of a movie you’ve seen recently e.g.
…you probably wont believe this but I woke up at my computer and there was a message telling me to follow the white rabbit. Then there was a knock on the door and a girl with a white rabbit tattoo took me too a club where a black guy offered me a blue pill or a red pill. Anyway I ended up picking the blue one and off I went into what we call “the Matrix”. Anyway, listen, i just called in to tell you that we are all living in a fake world when really robots are harvesting our organs in the real world, oh and I know Judo now….so what were you guys talking about?
So there you go. Now off with you to lie to your friends about your general whereabouts at all times. And hey If you use them let me know…so I can charge you appropriately.
Take it easy.